1. I don’t know how the schools in other countries deal with head lice (even saying the word is making me twitchyitchy). The Dutch are so practical with everything they deal with. It should not have surprised me in the slightest that they deal with nits in the same straightforward and logical manner.

I got an email from the school. The subject heading was: “Lots of kids have head lice in the group”.

No beating around the bush there. They like getting to the point the Dutch. Maybe it is because the language is so bloody hard to speak.

“Dear Parents,
This morning we did a round of lice checks and discovered a large number of children have lice (….lots of information…)
The Lice Mothers”

LICE MOTHERS! You read that right.

To clarify, the mama lice aren’t sending the email, (just in case you haven’t managed to have coffee yet).

Having read it, I’m now itching my head like I have a grade A infestation. Sorry if you are feeling like you’ve got an attack of the imaginary headbeasties too.

The very aptly named ‘Lice Mothers’ are mamas who volunteer to regularly check every kid’s head, in each class, with a nit comb.

If they find lice everyone is told straight away
They are treated
The end

It’s a good system. Effective and brutal if you are a louse.

In our home, the boy isn’t a touchy-feely kid. In fact he really doesn’t enjoy being too close to anyone, so I am guessing he won’t be bringing home some head friends anytime soon… But my daughter? She’s a snuggler. I have her tagged as the lice bag.

We still haven’t had our first infestation. It’s only a matter of time though. We are on the great lice countdown. I still haven’t bought a comb or shampoo to have ready. What’s that about?! I think I am looking forward to the late night panic drive to the chemist. It’ll give my anxiety a focus.

I’m developing a type of lice heebie-jeebies, grooming their noggins like a pernickity mama ape. At any time of the day I grab their unsuspecting selves and start searching their head for suspicious movement. They kids are used to it. It gets funny looks when we are out and about though.

I wonder if they do similar checks for worms at school? It wouldn’t surprise me.
What would that ‘mother’ be called?
Must ask the kids.
Bet they know.

I was born in Ireland, grew up in England and met my Cornish husband in Catalonia. We lived in the Netherlands with our two differently wired kids before all moving to Yorkshire. I spend my days parenting, writing and being amazed at all that Sheffield has to offer.

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